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Sunday, January 30 2011

There are several reasons why people put things off or delay getting started.

Do you have "Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda Syndrome"? 

Give some thought as to why you are avoiding a project or a task and then take the steps to change:

Are you overwhelmed?  If the task is too overwhelming, break it down. If it is still too overwhelming, break it down again.  Taking smaller steps to get something done is much more productive than not doing it at all!

Are you being realistic?  It's possible that if an item keeps showing up on your to-do list and is repeatedly bumped to the next day, it might be because it isn’t that important to you. Ask yourself if it is really your goal. It could be someone else’s goal, or their goal for you. Figure out if you want to do it or let it go by either delegating it to someone else or just not doing it at all!

Are you DISTRACTED?   It is important to set aside a specific time to accomplish the task.  You might need to go somewhere quiet where the interruptions of children, television, the telephone or your computer will not interfere. Figure out what is causing you to be distracted and make the necessary adjustments to eliminate those interruptions. 

Do you just HATE the job? Try swapping the task with someone else who is willing to do the job you hate and then return the favor and do something for them that they don't want to do.  

Do you feel UNDER-QUALIFIED?  Perhaps you have not tackled a project because you don't know how to do it or don't think you can do it correctly.  Don't be afraid to ask for help!  If need be, do some research, take a class or hire a professional to show you how to do it or have them actually do the job for you.   

With these tips, you will get rid of the "Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda Syndrome", stop procrastinating and get those tasks done!

If you need some help getting organized, you are feeling overwhelmed and don't know where to start, don't hesitate to contact me.  I will be more than happy to cure you of  the Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda Syndrome!

Have a great week!

Posted by: Audrey Cupo AT 10:46 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Sunday, January 23 2011

Are you sick of the clutter in your home but don't know how to even begin to get rid of it?  This is a common problem - getting started.  Why not take advantage of the cold temps outside and take some time today to get started?

If you follow the following 5 rules, you will be well on your way to eliminating the clutter.

1) Don't keep things you don't like.

This may sound obvious to you, but so many people have things in their homes that they're really not fond of. It could be a sweater that you never wear because you don't like the style any more or how it fits, but you're keeping it anyway because it was an expensive purchase.

It may be an old, beat up and ugly piece of furniture gathering dust in your storage area and the only reason you are keeping it is because it belonged to a loved one. The bottom line is, if you don't like it, it should not have a place in your home. Donate it to someone who will enjoy it.

2) You're keeping it for someone else.

Remember that your home is not the town storage facility! If you're holding on to things for your daughter who is now married with kids, give them to her and have her decide whether to keep or toss them. They belong to her, not you!

If you and your next door neighbor had a yard sale over the summer at your home, and your neighbor's goods that did not sell are still at your home, have them come over and pick them up today.  If she doesn't want them, offer to have a charity pick them up instead.  Just get rid of them!  Your storage space should only be reserved for you and the family members currently living in your home.

3) Reduce by a definite number.

When getting rid of clutter in a specific area, have a goal in mind. Be specific.  Saying you want to get rid of SOME clutter is very vague. However, saying you want to get rid of 20 items, or 50% of the clutter, is very specific. Focus on reaching your definitive goal.

4) Out with the old and in with the new

This classic saying applies to this situation.  When you buy something new, get rid of something old. If you just keeping adding possessions, without getting rid of anything, your home will soon be overflowing. Avoid this overflow by simply following the one in, one out rule to create balance in your home.

5) Never say never.

Lastly, if you constantly feel like you're drowning in clutter and you don't believe you'll ever be able to surface, the chances of you getting rid of your clutter are pretty slim. Never say "I'll never get rid of this clutter!". Always have a positive, can-do attitude and believe in yourself. Never allow your clutter to rule your life. Remember, you are in charge!

If you are feeling overwhelmed with the prospect of getting organized and you want a better space, don't hesitate to contact me and I will be glad to help.

In the meantime, stay warm and have a great week!

Posted by: Audrey Cupo AT 09:44 am   |  Permalink   |  4 Comments  |  Email
Sunday, January 16 2011

What are you supposed to do if you are organized and your partner isn't?

This situation is more common than not when it comes to relationships.  I get contacted all the time by people who feel that they are neat and organized and their spouse is just the opposite and they are at wits end.  Ying and Yang. 

Although I find that both parties tend to contribute in some way to the situation, there can be a lot of frustration when you are living with someone who is very disorganized and you are forced to live with it.  It has an overwhelming effect on the entire household and your relationship.

I want to help you if you feel you are a mismatched couples.  (I don't mean that you aren't meant for each other, but rather, you are in a situation where one is clean and organized and the other is messy and disorganized and, as a result, there tends to be animosity.)

If you’re already in a living arrangement and are disappointed by your partner/roommate’s level of order, you need to have a conversation. Yelling and passive aggressive behavior isn’t productive and damages the relationship. Having a calm, sincere, and respectful conversation has the possibility of yielding powerful results.

It is good to have ground rules for what to do when frustration takes hold. Here are some productive rules you might consider establishing:

No nagging.  This is a problem that effects both of you and nagging someone about it will not benefit either one of you.  Try to find a reasonable solution that works for both of you.  Create a plan.  

No backpacking. Set a time limit for how long after something happens that it is discussed (like one week).  If you don’t bring up the frustration within that time limit, you have to let it go. You can’t fester or stew on a frustration. Also, if you’ve already discussed something, you can’t bring it up again. The reason it’s called backpacking is because it’s like people carry around another person’s wrongs in a backpack and pull every wrong out of the bag when there is a disagreement. Backpacking isn't fair. 

Discuss the real problem. If you’re upset that your wife/husband/partner or roommate repeatedly leaves dirty dishes strewn about the living room, your frustration has very little to do with dirty dishes themselves. You’re upset because you believe they don’t care about the cleanliness level in the living space. So, talk about the real problem and use the dirty dishes as an example of how that lack of caring is being expressed and how it makes you feel.

May times, the person who is messier than the other doesn’t care one bit if his or her living arrangement is disorderly or orderly. When this is the case, and if you’re the one who prefers a more orderly home, prepare to possibly take on the full responsibility for cleaning up after the other person. Do it because you’re the one who gets the sense of joy from an organized space.

If a pair of shoes in the middle of the living room floor annoys you, just move the shoes to a location that doesn’t annoy you. The five seconds it will take you to move the shoes are less than the time you will be angry over the shoes if you don’t move them. 

Arrange that you will do this for them if they agree to do something for you that you dislike or don't care that much about.  This will make it feel more like you are sharing responsibilities and they are not just falling onto one person.  Everyone has their strong suits.

Perhaps the problem is that there aren’t any systems in place to deal with the mess where it happens. For instance, perhaps your husband stores his wallet in a valet in your bedroom. Perhaps you store your purse in a cube near the front door. He puts his wallet in his pocket first thing in the morning and takes it out at night before he goes to bed. You only grab your purse as you are entering and exiting the house.

If your purse was supposed to be stored in a valet in your bedroom, I can guarantee you that it would never be in the bedroom. It would be on the dining room table or living room floor or wherever you happened to have dropped it.

So, a storage cube near your front door is perhaps the best place for your purse because it’s a storage location that works for you. Think about how you live and find solutions that meet your actual needs.

If need be, designate "clean rooms" or "messy rooms" in your home. You can decide that all public spaces are "clean rooms". This would mean that the rooms visitors will see when they come into your house must be free of clutter at all times. (Generally this is the first floor of your home.)

Visitors rarely come upstairs to your second floor, so perhaps the rules can be less stringent.  Things can’t be dirty (no food or bug-enticing items), but if objects are left out of order in these spaces, it’s less of an issue. Schedule a once-a-week cleaning for these areas.  

Finally, if you’ve tried all of the previous options and nothing is working for you, try seeking outside help. This help can be in the form of a professional organizer or perhaps a couple’s counselor. You want to work with someone who isn’t a part of your relationship and can see it more broadly.

I don’t recommend using a friend or family member for this task.  I find that they tend to impose their own agenda (not out of a wanting to help, but, rather, from lack of professional knowledge and experience). Also,   how they want you to get organized is not the system that would work best for you. 

This situation must be dealt with a mutual agreement between the parties; agreeing that it is something that is important and needed.  Otherwise, the one party might feel resentment towards the whole process.

Professional help could also be in the form of a cleaning service coming into the house twice a month. However, most cleaning services will request that the clutter be eliminated so that they can do their job properly.  I get contacted many times before a cleaning service is hired.  I come in and help eliminate the clutter. After all, they can't clean the floor if they can't find it!  Letting someone else handle the deep cleaning will make the light housework is less of a burden.

If you’re a part of a Ying and Yang couple, what effective strategies have you employed? I would love to hear your thoughts and I’m sure that everyone would benefit from reading your positive results in the comments below.

If you are overwhelmed with the prospect of getting organized and are living in a "ying and yang" situation, don't hesitate to give me a call.  I can help you find the middle ground that will work best for both of you.

In the meantime, have a great week!

Posted by: Audrey Cupo AT 12:33 pm   |  Permalink   |  2 Comments  |  Email
Friday, January 07 2011

So, the New Year has begun and a new decade too, for that matter.

Everyone is on the "resolution" band wagon the past few weeks and I want to let you know that I don't make "resolutions".  I set goals instead.  Resolutions tend to be so definite and so structured.  You either reach them or you fail.  What I mean by that is there tends to be no wiggle room.  Therefore, those resolutions tend to be so impossible to achieve.

Instead I set "goals".  I set them for my personal life and for my business each year.  I don't just have them floating around in my head, I write them down.

Most people do best when they write things down.  Not only do I write down what it is I want to achieve, but the steps I can take to reach my goal.

For example, if you say that you are going to lose weight this year, that is too broad.   That is a resolution that will most likely be broken quickly.  Instead, you can decide that you want to watch what you eat and lose two pounds a week for the next 10 weeks. 

Now, take a piece of paper or a post-it note (bright colored is best) and write down "I will lose two pounds this week".   Post it somewhere visible that you can see it each and every day (perhaps your bathroom mirror or your refrigerator door). You want to say this statement aloud to yourself (I have no problem with you talking to yourself!) and make that statement yours.  See it, feel it, believe in it.

Also, you want to think about "how" you are going to reach your weekly goal.  Using the example above, you can decide you are going to exercise, cut out junk food, drink plenty of water, use a smaller plate for your meals.  These are steps you can take to reach your "weekly" goal and before you know it, you will have reached your overall goal. 

Now, isn't that much better than setting a "resolution"?  I think so.  Just remember to write it down!

So, what are your goals for 2011?  I would love to hear about them.  Do they involve getting organized?  If so, I can help you take that overwhelming project and break it down into smaller, more manageable steps so you can reach your goal! 

I wish you much success in whatever goals you set for yourself this coming year.

Enjoy your week!

Posted by: Audrey Cupo AT 01:12 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
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    Phone: (215)491-5193
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